Mate Selection: Rate Your Match


Do you believe you can find someone who is safe, exciting and gets you?

Dating tends to elicit an overall negative reaction as you associate it with past experiences of longing for a partner amidst the ups and downs of loneliness and hopefulness. Or, with selecting someone you feel is perfect upfront to later experience a different dimension of their personality, hurting your heart and making you mistrust your judgment.

Knowing truly what you want in dating, like in all areas of life, is the first, sometimes hardest step, towards achieving it. Next is knowing who you are and who you best fit with. Then, how to enjoy the relationship while also evaluating compatibility over time. These are skills you can improve.

Mate Selection: Rate Your Match is a workbook designed to help you build your personalized roadmap to finding your ideal match. The book, similar to Securing the Relationship Perimeter: Close Up, With Others, Long Distance, is a workbook, similar to Love Sex Trust and Money explores subconscious and underlying relationship psychology. Incorporating evolutionary, financial and attraction psychology to explore how humans, as social animals, express value as resources, mark territory, mask insecurity, and establish social hierarchy and positioning of status.

Whether focusing on your career or love life, compatibility is key. From my experiences as a counselor specializing in both arenas, I distilled elements into a simple Rate Your Match five item compatibility rating system.

Outlining key personality traits and comparing these between you and a potential partner, you can gain a clearer picture of who you are most compatible with and why. In addition, concrete skills in discerning integrity, flirting and dealing well with loneliness so you don’t feel too desperate are also shared. All of these skills not only deepen your maturity, it also increases the likelihood your children will find high quality future partnerships themselves.


  • Introduction: Selecting A Mate, Appreciating Yourself
  • Determining Your (True) Dating Purpose
  • Rate Your Match
  • Discerning Manipulation
  • Ethical Seduction
  • In The Meantime (Skills)
  • Resources

Estimated read time, 27 minutes, (exercises) 30 minutes