Did you know rejection is protection?

Often, when you feel like you’ve failed, you actually reject yourself, which was more of what I was used to in my own life. “I’m not good because I didn’t do well.” “If I just do a little better, I am better.” Even if this isn’t spoken, it lives in your unconscious, waiting to judge you harshly if you encounter a failure.

When things go awry, it’s not about your weakness

This tripwire of self loathing is based on the belief that you are to blame for whatever doesn’t go well. Maybe your parents said these literal words or maybe their actions or judgement influenced you to infer this core belief. When you do feel you are to blame, you abandon yourself. Shame, punishment and need for redemption becomes the show stealer, instead of just a straightforward experience of disappointment and life lessons.

Rejection is a simple lack of fit.

Rejection, without abandoning the self is straightforward. It has nothing to do with your core as a person, it’s simply a lack of fit. An attempt that didn’t work out. An incongruence. It is what it is. No one is a devil or angel.

If you get fired as an assistant because you feel you are more competent than your boss. You aren’t being spoiled, it’s just a bad fit. Or, if you feel bored with your girlfriend a lot. She’s not defective, the two of you just aren’t right for each other. Rejection, therefore, is just a statement of something that doesn’t work well.

If something isn’t working well, a rejection is a good thing. It’s the truth. Rejection can save you a lot of time, money and heartache by listening closely to it. Instead of interpreting rejection through a younger lens of insecurity and not being good enough– feeling victimized– you can see it through adult eyes, it’s efficiency.

Rejection can guide you to your ideal

Rejection is an opportunity to be thankful, not crushed. On the backside of an attempt that fails, you can regroup and refocus your energy on identifying what you would like to add in your life that will lead you to more enriching experiences.

Rejection can help you build a life that fits you like a glove, surrounded by people who are able to understand and value your worth, and vice versa.The longer you live in a world filled with love, your susceptibility to rejection decreases.

So, if someone doesn’t like you as a friend, mate or employee, so what. If you feel they are a credible source and can learn something from their feedback, then embrace the opportunity, it’s likely to prove very constructive. Then, move on down the road. You like you and have others who do too. Your future is waiting.

The insecure child that was unsure of your own self-worth can finish becoming a confident adult.

What’s Next for Me?

Your own self knowledge is your most powerful asset in life. Stimulate the conversation with yourself and your loved ones.

Begin by asking yourself:

  • How important are my feelings on this subject to me?
  • Am I being mean to myself?
  • Do I need support?

Read our E-book Love Sex Trust: An Overview

Let it all simmer, until you’re ready for more.

TESTIMONIALS

Not a Do It Yourself Type?

Private Couples Retreat. No groups, just you, your partner and the therapist.

Based on 20 years of experience, incorporating a straightforward, research oriented model, allowing couples to get away from daily life, and in concentrated blocks of time, resolve sexual, conflict and emotional issues, finding a way forward together or apart.

Creating solutions for happy sexuality and close relationships.

On location or via teleconference.

Learn More